Karen, a 32-year-old marketing executive, stared at the email on her screen as if it were written in ancient hieroglyphics. Her boss, Mr. Gerald “Creepy Smile” Thompson, had invited her to a “private strategy session” at his penthouse suite. The email ended with a suspiciously enthusiastic winky face emoji. Karen’s first thought: Is this a trap? Her second thought: Do I even like penthouses?
Her internal dialogue kicked into overdrive. Okay, Karen, let’s think this through. On the one hand, you could say yes, and voilĂ ! You’re VP of Marketing by Tuesday. But on the other hand, you’d have to look at Gerald’s greasy combover for at least 45 minutes without gagging. Is the corner office worth losing your P Dignity over? She tried to envision the aftermath. What if I say yes, and he promotes me, but then I’m stuck with secret “performance reviews” for the rest of my career? The thought made her shudder. No, Karen! You’ll end up on some “scandal of the decade” documentary on Netflix. And you love Netflix.
Karen decided to decline the invitation. Instead, she poured her energy into creating an unbeatable marketing pitch for the big client presentation. Two months later, her hard work paid off, and she was promoted to Senior VP. As she celebrated with her colleagues, she thought, Wow, I’m so glad I didn’t trade my P Dignity for a fast pass to the top. Turns out, talent, effort, and a sprinkle of sarcasm work just fine. Gerald, meanwhile, was quietly “retired” after his winky-face emails became a meme in the HR department. As Karen leaned back in her new leather office chair, she toasted her success with a Diet Coke, confident that her morals—and her dignity—remained as intact as her killer sense of humor.